Some people seem to think they know what pregnant women should do!

Sitting here now, reflecting, I know something for sure. I have complete confidence in the absolute integrity of my own experience. After all, these are my feelings and thoughts; they are happening to only me. In fact even when I do my best to describe them to others, I can be pretty sure they don’t completely get where I am coming from. In many ways this insight is the foundation for for all that I offer others through my writing and work.

What I am offering you is my reflected upon experience, full stop. I notice something else, which creates enormous power for me. When it comes to my opinions on stuff (and it doesn't seem to matter what it is I am thinking about or considering) I am almost certainly wrong about the conclusions I have come to, or at best partly wrong.The liberty that knowing this brings is truly wonderful to me. Holding this way of thinking seems to create space for me to open heartedly hear others when they disagree with me.

The above insight has been serving me well as I work in our birthing community. I am often saddened when I notice the ways in which some people defend what they perceive is the Truth when it comes to all things birth.

Some birth proffesionals seem to have an internal list of all the things that pregnant women should do:

  • Deliver on their back
  • Have an epidural
  • Have an episiotomy
  • check
    Bottle feed
  • check
    Have a vaginal examination on her back
  • check
    Have their babies in hospital
  • check
    Chose home birth
  • check
  • check
    Have delayed cord clamping
  • check
    Do Hypno birthing courses
  • check
    Write a birth preference list
  • check
    Have their partners with them
  • check
    Have a doula
  • check
    Have only two people with them in hospital

As you read this list to yourself notice the thoughts that come up, and probably just as importantly your bodily reactions. Which should’s do you particularly not like? These areas you notice can become very fertile ground for self reflection. In my experience my bodily responses seldom lie to me. They are always sending me messages. They point to areas of my thinking where I have become closed to new ways of perceiving. The conclusions I have arrived at, and parked my opinions in the space marked Truth.

My life as a birth professional has been enriched by knowing that I am almost certainly wrong about all the conclusions I have come to, or at best I am partly wrong.

As birth professionals, knowing ourselves will be (in my opinion) the beginning of our own personal transformation and will ultimately lead to the transformation of the birthing culture that we all serve within. As we create the space for open, kind dissections about our differences.

These days I am not that concerned about what others think about me (well, that’s not completely true, just check out my social media posts). I do however have stuff I want to share that I think some people will find supportive. Here is the Truth, I am an expert on my own experience and no one can express my experience like I can. There is a trap in all this. If mistake my experience for anything like the Objective Truth about anything I have fallen into it. My escape route is clear to me, I just need to realise that, my experience is only ever just my experience.

Here at we want to serve you with good quality information and training that you can use to facilitate your own transformation, thank you for reading this far.

Mark Harris